eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
