it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
ttyl tear gas
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize