can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
