I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
