yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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