i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
