I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize