Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
