That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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