'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
