I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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