Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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