She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
