I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
