I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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