If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize