she looked like the before picture.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i've created a new STD.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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