I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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