I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
