TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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