Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
