i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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