I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
