I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
