am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
