3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
