i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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