So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Farmville is her only friend.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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