Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
