Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
