....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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