But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
