Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is wine microwaveable?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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