when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
