official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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