If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
