were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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