Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
