haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
