Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
