Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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