Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
