I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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