the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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