You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
