You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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