just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
