Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize