So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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