don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize