pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize