He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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