YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He did a backflip because drugs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
