the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
