you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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