please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
