so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
