Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
