Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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