Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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