life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
