I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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