so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
