.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
