did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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