quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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