you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
