You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
