i don't like sucking hair
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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